Looking for someone to edit and improve my paper which has grammatical or vocabulary issues. It needs to be up to the standards of NYU College level.
Here is what my teacher wrote: You make an excellent point in the paragraph about “cop killer.” The parallel between the sonic elements of this song and the sonic elements of a police interaction is an intriguing observation. Great! It is also a nice observation to relate the contours of the melody of “Trapped” with the desire to be taken seriously.
I’m still finding a number of instances where grammatical or vocabulary issues are interfering with the message you are trying to communicate. For example, it seems that “exploit” is used incorrectly in the first sentence, which is changing the meaning of what I believe you intend to say. Use more specific language than “from the beginning of time” to strengthen your writing, and watch for phrasing like “…African Americans who believe that police brutality…,” which suggests speculation about whether police brutality is actually an ongoing issue… which I do not believe you are really suggesting, based on other statements you make throughout the essay. Watch for overuse of commas throughout.
Overall, the content of this playlist assignment is great! The writing (vocabulary, grammar, etc) needs revision. Once you’ve done that, submit.
December 31, 2017
I am willing to pay higher rates for the most experienced freelancers