I need a humorous opening paragraph that quickly grabs readers eyes as well as crafting the protagonist's character. Also I'd like the narrative／word choice sounds educated and sophisticated.
The plot would be something like: me on a train to Boston, my mom was yelling at me to stop eating, yet I can't stop jamming food into my mouth, and everyone in the train casts their eyes on us. This is an anecdote of how I love eating, and you should mention in the end of the paragraph that this causes a problem for me later on. You can add more flavour to it, it's ok (only 150 character needed).
The style could be like this following essay:
Managing to break free from my mother’s grasp, I charged. With arms flailing and chubby legs fluttering beneath me, I was the ferocious two year old rampaging through Costco on a Saturday morning. My mother’s eyes widened in horror as I jettisoned my churro; the cinnamonsugar rocket gracefully sliced its way through the air while I continued my spree. I sprinted through the aisles, looking up in awe at the massive bulk products that towered over me. Overcome with wonder, I wanted to touch and taste, to stick my head into industrialsized freezers, to explore every crevice. I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples. Before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, I scaled a mountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdom of Costco.