I have the first draft of a humor/poetry book (43,000 words). A sample of the draft is attached. The style is similar to Bo Burnham and Shel Silverstein.
I am looking for a line edit of the work. I want to make sure the jokes, themes, meanings, etc... come across in the poems. Similarly, does the organization of the poems make sense? Does the material avoid cliche? Does it all make sense as one big fluid piece? Et cetera, et cetera.
I am not overly concerned about grammar, but if I consistently botch something, such as comma placement, you are more than welcome to make note.
While it is not a mandatory, familiarity with Bo Burnham, Shel Silverstein and the like is a plus. Also, not mandatory, but a plus, if you could provide a sentence or two sample edit of the attached draft it would be greatly appreciated.